It’s getting that time again, Christmas with all the pressures of commercialism, pressures of keeping up with your friends. This has been going on for years, decades and probably centuries. I remember when I was young, probably 13 or 14, I so wanted a Scalextic racing circuit, there were plenty of suggestions to my mother, I knew my friends were hoping for the same thing, they got their wishes, I didn’t. I was upset, felt unloved, felt abandoned, felt un-listened to. The emotions of a young boy are at best confused, with these other feeling Christmas turns into something to be avoided, a time to forget. These thoughts still linger, many years later, even with Christmas holidays the other side of the world and other beautifully thoughtfully researched gifts and offered with love this includes a fantastic painting; those thoughts of unloved, abandoned, not listened to linger and have morphed into not being worthy of these wonderful gifts from my fantastic wife. My teenage feelings have suppressed my acceptance of love as I never got what I wanted materially. My parents cared and loved me and my sisters but the money could only go so far, not to expensive presents that would spend more time in the box than being played with. I would soon grow out of them and the next fad and craze would be on the market.

I don’t have a magic solution for managing expectations for your teenagers except to talk to them, explain the fact and figures of living; they may see money coming into the house but not where it goes. This education is very important else they may believe money grows on the evergreen money tree and you end up breaking the bank for the sake of losing the love of your child whilst maintaining there belief that everything comes from the money tree.

I wish I was told back then that I wasn’t getting a Scalextric and the reason why, then I would have been able to rationalise, understand and possibly do something to support my family. Then Christmas’s would have felt different instead of a belly full of grief and loss because I didn’t get my dream present, they could have been wonderful joyous times as they are supposed to be.

As I write above, these learnt behaviours set the scene for the rest of your life, they are almost impossible to kick as they hide deeply inside the subconscious and are continually operating invisibly in everything you and I do. There is a way to make them visible and let them go, that’s another story. If you want to know more then why not join my mailing list by clicking here. http://eepurl.com/cvP5nz